ELEKTRA REVIEW
So, apparently in this Daredevil movie with Ben Affleck (I'm telling you since the assumption is that you never saw Daredevil and if you have seen it, stop reading this immediately and drink something) Jennifer Garner's character, Elektra, died.
Or did she...
And this isn't as stupid as you might think, it's actually much stupider. The assumption is that once Elektra met her doom in DD, she was whisked away to a secret order of white ninjas where an old blind ninja, played by Terence Stamp, brings her back to life, teaches her slightly more kung-fu, and then sends her away. What is her obsession with blind guys?
Elektra is then made to earn her living through assassinations that she manages to squeeze in between her Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder episodes and her pointless flashbacks to when her father taught her to swim and when she found her mother dead. At first, she remembers her mother's murderer as a giant cartoonish demon, then a black ninja, then some guy that really killed her for no apparent reason.
If you haven't picked up on it, good guys = white ninjas. Bad guys = black ninjas.
If this isn't enough, her latest contract is to kill a father and daughter. The father is that Croatian guy from ER and the daughter is a thirteen year old that's a lot like Elektra. Well, of course Elektra has a change of heart. She can't kill these people because her dad didn't want her to swim with anything but her legs and her mother was killed by a demon ninja guy. Besides, there's the horizon to stare at contemplatively. Elektra does, on ocassion, encounter people to fight, but mostly she just mugs for the camera in a wind machine.
I can't decide which of Elektra's enemies was the greatest. There was the hedge-maze, that was a good one. And she fought the linen sheets, they were cool. I guess I'd have to say that her greatest enemy was the wind-storm that followed her everywhere she went. Oh, and there was the guy that was impervious to bullets, but then died when he got hit by a tree.
My favorite line was from the ER guy - "Let's use the truck!"
You don't use a truck. You drive a truck. You load a truck. You get my point...
Overall rating: Ten out of ten sucks. Surprise surprise.
On a side note, the Fantastic Four trailer was on the movie and it looks slightly less sucky than I imagined it would, but make no mistake - it looks sucky.
Or did she...
And this isn't as stupid as you might think, it's actually much stupider. The assumption is that once Elektra met her doom in DD, she was whisked away to a secret order of white ninjas where an old blind ninja, played by Terence Stamp, brings her back to life, teaches her slightly more kung-fu, and then sends her away. What is her obsession with blind guys?
Elektra is then made to earn her living through assassinations that she manages to squeeze in between her Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder episodes and her pointless flashbacks to when her father taught her to swim and when she found her mother dead. At first, she remembers her mother's murderer as a giant cartoonish demon, then a black ninja, then some guy that really killed her for no apparent reason.
If you haven't picked up on it, good guys = white ninjas. Bad guys = black ninjas.
If this isn't enough, her latest contract is to kill a father and daughter. The father is that Croatian guy from ER and the daughter is a thirteen year old that's a lot like Elektra. Well, of course Elektra has a change of heart. She can't kill these people because her dad didn't want her to swim with anything but her legs and her mother was killed by a demon ninja guy. Besides, there's the horizon to stare at contemplatively. Elektra does, on ocassion, encounter people to fight, but mostly she just mugs for the camera in a wind machine.
I can't decide which of Elektra's enemies was the greatest. There was the hedge-maze, that was a good one. And she fought the linen sheets, they were cool. I guess I'd have to say that her greatest enemy was the wind-storm that followed her everywhere she went. Oh, and there was the guy that was impervious to bullets, but then died when he got hit by a tree.
My favorite line was from the ER guy - "Let's use the truck!"
You don't use a truck. You drive a truck. You load a truck. You get my point...
Overall rating: Ten out of ten sucks. Surprise surprise.
On a side note, the Fantastic Four trailer was on the movie and it looks slightly less sucky than I imagined it would, but make no mistake - it looks sucky.
posted by BIG at 3:26 AM
2 Comments:
Elecktra was essentially the forerunner of all of the later "bad-girl" characters of the 90s (comic book Gods rest their hollow souls). Place additional blame on the character being a Frank Miller creation during the high-momentum arc of his pre-Dark Knight buzz and the general fad that was the “kung-fu/martial arts/samurai/ninja” stuff of the late 80s-early 90s. Cowabunga!
That they devoted a movie to this character gives me hope for the long awaited "Iron Fist" movie, with special cameo appearance by Moon Knight, but I digress...
As I recall, the storyline of the movie rings true with the comic; however, what's good for the fanboy is not always good for those with the ability to discern good from suck (the general audience). My point being that Elecktra is an off-shoot of a 2nd-tier character that has spiked in popularity on occasion in conjunction with the buzz-worthy talent associated with its book (eg. Frank Miller, Kevin Smith, etc.).
The fanboys who contribute to that buzz, augmented by residual happy tidings from the decent “X-Men” movies and excellent “Spider-man” movie’s audiences, made the Daredevil movie a moderate success, albeit a moderate success whose principle lead (Ben-lo) was overshadowed by his supporting cast (Bullseye and, yes, Elecktra).
However, because fanboys are not sufficient to open a movie to hit status, the other schmucks who saw Daredevil (still trustful from their Spider-Man experience), subsequently felt bitter upon realizing "it's not good like that Spider-Man movie wuz!" and told everyone they knew to skip it, thereafter.
Yet, movie executives, being what they are, likely studied their audience polls and debated heavily about the spin-off potential of the better liked secondary characters: Bullseye (can we make him good?), Elecktra (she’s an ass-kicking hottie!) and the Hulk-Dogs (they kind of look like Shrek!). Ass-kicking hottie obviously won. Thus was Elecktra re-born.
As an aside, the whole “bad-ass-martial arts-ninja genre” has lost considerable luster for me thanks to having seen EVERY martial arts expert who has ever participated in Ultimate Fighting Championship events get thrashed by wrestlers and submission specialists (ie. get Daredevil or Elecktra on the ground and into an ankle lock and they’ll tap out…). Give the world a UFC trained super-hero, I say!
Anyway, that this movie is bad is really secondary to the fact that they have reestablished the assumption that the next Marvel movies will suck. Can’t wait for that Submariner flick!
BDC
What about all those kooky special effects in the previews? Those looked cool.
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