Super Clarifications
Since apparently there’s a WWW out there full of geeks that have apparently never seen Superman II, I feel I need to clarify the “date-rapist” remark in my SUPERMAN RETURNS review.
In Superman II, Superman gives up his super powers so that he can spend his life with Lois Lane. Once he does this, he has sex with Lois.
With me so far?
General Zod then comes to Earth and starts to fuck shit up. After getting his now mortal ass kicked in a redneck diner, Superman sees the news and upon hearing of General Zod’s arrival, he high-tails it back to the fortress of solitude to beg for his powers back from Susannah York, his cheaper-to-cast mother.
Once he does this, he can’t be with Lois.
At the end of the movie, Lois tells him how miserable she is, not being able to be with him or to tell anyone his secret. So, Superman uses one of about fifty brand-new unexplained super-powers that popped up in Superman II and gives her a super-forget-everything smooch.
Now – cut to five years later in RETURNS when Lois realizes that her kid is Superman’s, but has no recollection of ever sleeping with him. Now, Superman could clear this up with a simple explanation, but instead lets Lois go on imagining that Superman slipped her a super-rufie. This wouldn’t have bothered me so much if the WB/Singer camp hadn’t made such a strong assertion that their movie was a sequel to Superman II. But, the problem remains that by Lois’ point of view, she was raped by Superman. Now suck it.
In Superman II, Superman gives up his super powers so that he can spend his life with Lois Lane. Once he does this, he has sex with Lois.
With me so far?
General Zod then comes to Earth and starts to fuck shit up. After getting his now mortal ass kicked in a redneck diner, Superman sees the news and upon hearing of General Zod’s arrival, he high-tails it back to the fortress of solitude to beg for his powers back from Susannah York, his cheaper-to-cast mother.
Once he does this, he can’t be with Lois.
At the end of the movie, Lois tells him how miserable she is, not being able to be with him or to tell anyone his secret. So, Superman uses one of about fifty brand-new unexplained super-powers that popped up in Superman II and gives her a super-forget-everything smooch.
Now – cut to five years later in RETURNS when Lois realizes that her kid is Superman’s, but has no recollection of ever sleeping with him. Now, Superman could clear this up with a simple explanation, but instead lets Lois go on imagining that Superman slipped her a super-rufie. This wouldn’t have bothered me so much if the WB/Singer camp hadn’t made such a strong assertion that their movie was a sequel to Superman II. But, the problem remains that by Lois’ point of view, she was raped by Superman. Now suck it.
posted by BIG at 2:37 PM
8 Comments:
Lois' husband askes her about an Article she wrote called "I spent the night with Superman". The boss even mentions that she failed miserable in writing about sex. I assumed she retained memories of being with him, but no one believed her.
Wow, I never thought of the Superman II kiss could be considered a "super-rufie". OK now I see the connection and understand your reference.
Keith, you goddamn idiot.
"I spent the night with Superman" was the article she wrote in Superman: The Movie after he took her flying.
I guess I made the assumption that everyone had seen the other Superman movies - at least the good ones. I can understand blocking out three and especially four, but come on, work with me people!
You do remember that Darth Vader is Luke's father, don't you?
Okay. You're not an idiot. Sorry. I'm an asshole. I just get so used to tearing into Bloggy that I sometimes project,
Sorry, didn't remember that.
I don't own either of them on DVD and can't remember the last time I watched then on free "Saturday afternoon" TV.
I'm guessing the last time I saw them was the 1990s.
Star Wars I do own and remember. I probably watched all the films right before the last movie came out.
I was thinking I probably should have rented Superman: the Movie and Superman II before seeing "... Returns".
No problem on the idiot remark. You are obviously a much bigger fan of the original films than I am. I've gone off on people for less concerning Star Trek.
Tribbles were not Klingon pets!
I never watched Enterprise beyond the pilot. Tell me they didn't do the Tribbles are Klingon pets episode.
Nope, that was a comment someone falsely made about Star Trek The Original Series(TOS).
I corrected them harshly since one of the cool things about Tribbles was they disliked Klingons and served as a Klingon detector.
Somehow they forgot that part.
I went out and bought "Superman The Movie" yesterday. Only $5.50 at WalMart. They were out of stock on "Superman II"
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